I want to say something positive because sometimes I can be a real downer. The Jell-o was not bad!

On Tuesday morning at 2:55am. I awoke to what I thought was back pain.  took three ibuprofen and waited for it to take effect. I cat-napped for 30 minutes. I awoke to even more pain, but it had now crept around to my chest ,and I thought, “Oh this must be some really bad reflux.” So I took some Prilosec. The next four hours were some of the most painful of my life, and I have been through natural child birth (still need to tell you that whole story).

I tried to wait for my doctor’s office to open, but it was taking too long. Then we tried to find an urgent care facility. That is when my mother arrived. I had called her at 6:30 to see if she could swing by to help me figure out what was going on, at which time she suggested I drink some chamomile tea – to which I gently offered, “TO HELL WITH TEA!” She was a little freaked when she came in my bedroom as I was crouching on the floor rocking back and forth like a traumatized child.

My husband asked what he should do, and I did something I hardly ever do: I told him he needed to make my decisions for me because I was no longer capable, and to please do it RIGHT NOW. We got in the car and he took me to the ER.

Let me just say that you know it is bad when you fill out the ER paper work, under your name it asks if you are having chest pains or shortness of breath, and you answer YES! They start moving fast! I was whisked into the back and needles started being stuck in me and blood being drawn and an onslaught of questions (which I could barely answer because of the insurmountable amount of pain and the confusion that comes with it).

I was taken to a small room where I was treated by a doctor that did not wear a white coat but instead opted for a red and blue plaid Polo button down. He gave me very good drugs so I let his fashion choices go. This is about the time that they inserted another IV into my other arm. My veins had started shrinking so they put this one in the crook of my arm like the other one. I did not know at the time that this was the last time I would bend either arm for the next five days.

The pain was to return though, as I was trying to still nurse Ewan and I wanted to not have any drugs that would impede that. They offered morphine, which is fine for nursing mothers, but it brought little to no relief. The unfortunate thing about finding that out was the timing: I had been strapped down and placed in a large metal machine. The pain started to build before I even got in, but they said drugs would interfere with the test, and I was all “I can do it!” Sadly, I was mistaken. By the time I was in the machine for 30 of the 90 min that was required, I was crying and pleading for “it” to stop, screaming to be saved from the torture. This is when I finally got some drugs – 4 mg of morphine were shot in my veins, dope-fiend style. My eyes did not roll back in my head, and I did not fall to the bathroom floor with the syringe still in my arm. Instead I was still screaming in pain.

I was taken back to my room to moan and groan far away from other patients’ ears. After an hour of wailing, the pain started to ease to where I could sit down. I asked husband to rub my back. Thankfully, he did until all the pain just melted away.

The test still needed to be finished, so I asked if we could hurry it along before the pain came back. Lucky for me, a new kind of drug was waiting for me when I got back to my room – dilaudid. If I ever become a drug user, this may be my drug of choice. It made me crazy, wired, tired, and dizzy, and it even made me slur my words, but it took the pain away.

By the end of the testing they had stuck me in every machine the hospital had to offer and finally came up with what was ailing me. I had a gall bladder full of stones. One stone had escaped and clogged my common bile duct, causing bile to back up into my liver. And I also had a blood clot in my lung.

Now we had two major problems – one that must be dealt with immediately and one that has long term implications. I was immediately put on high doses of heparin to start treating the clot. Once that was under control they dove into the other more immediate problem. I had an endoscopic procedure done where they removed the stone from blocking the common bile duct and also opened the duct up so if anything else came tumbling down it would fall out instead of blocking the bile – mostly so my liver could start healing. The next day, which was Friday, I had a laparoscopic surgery where they removed my gall bladder and its trove of stones.

The pain from the stones is gone and in its place is pain from surgery – but I will take that any day. The blood clot is something I now have to deal with by taking serious blood thinners for now and then find a good hematologist in the ATL area to deal with my on-going care (chime in if you are one or know one).

I am now back home and steadily recovering from the surgeries. I am not, however, getting back to life yet. Hopefully that will start to happen by the end of this week. I did however lose all my baby weight while in the hospital, and I look forward to trying on my jeans when I can put pants on again. There is also something to be said for making it through this very creepy week alive when so many in the public eye have not.

I did not eat or drink for four days and when I was finally allowed to put something inside me besides air, they brought me green lime jell-o. It was the best damn jell-o I had ever tasted.

Just thought I would drop in and let everyone know we are still waiting around for this baby. He seems to be pretty happy where he is even though I have issued an eviction notice.

Yesterday we did eggs and bunny baskets. Will got a HUGE bag of gummy worms and completely freaked out. You would have thought it was Christmas.  He was on a sugar high most of the day and ended up crashing pretty hard last night.

In other news, I think Will is official an in-doors kids after these past few weeks: he has been attacked by ants resulting in about 13 bites on his hands, and on Friday he got a tick. Josh pulled it out, but part of the head broke off and was stuck. I had no idea how important it was to remove the head immediately until I google’d it, and we had fun getting it out last night before bed. I was just glad he did not throw up from getting all worked up.

Tomorrow I go for what will hopefully be my last OB visit. Wednesday is the due date, so hopefully we can get this show on the road soon.

For covers, we are using wool soakers – plastic pants don’t  breathe very well, and I worry about smell and rash. I have knitted and crocheted several pairs in different sizes in 100% wool.  Wool soakers are anti-microbial, water resistant, and breathable. They do need to be washed in wool wash and lanolized though.  Also I have sewn up some soakers made from felted sweaters. You really only need three soakers as you do not change them with every diaper change.

Wipes: they do have cloth wipes, but I am not ready to go there just yet (though I may get a pack of these to try out to test the waters). For now I am either getting a bunch of these or the natural ones they have at the B’R'U.

After potty-training Will, I am pretty un-phased by poop, goop, or anything else for that matter.  My only real concern is having enough to rotate around so we always have some clean.  Getting a system down is really where the work will be. We did have cloth night-time pants for Will for about six months, so I am familiar with how to wash cloths that have been peed on so as it does not give rashes or smell.

Okay, that is the rundown. I hope it was informative.

The Slap Chop
(The 35 sec mark is when it gets really good!)

And not to be missed: the remix version. laughed until I cried:

Remixed Nuts

I made a gift for Will’s teachers last night. Today was his last day of school for three weeks. The good news is that I don’t have to wake up to an alarm for a few weeks. By week two I am sure I will be ready to trade the alarm for some peace and quiet. I took some pics of other gifts but cannot show them yet. Bummer…

Winterizing the men – scarves for both and mittens for Will.  The mittens are made from a felted wool sweater I got from the salvation army for $5. I have been collecting them for some time. We have decided to cloth diaper the new little dude, and the felted wool is being made into diaper covers. On a side note, does anyone know how amazing the properties of wool are? It is right up there with baking soda, in my humble opinion.

And speaking of natural things, I am still on my all natural beauty regime for the exception of the hair. I do use natural shampoo because the baking soda quit working a bit after I got pregnant. I will be giving it a go again once all the crazy hormones have left my body – which will not be for a long time.

Back to why I have been making scarves, other than it is cold: I became very tired this week and had brushed it off as being pregnant. On Wednesday I got a call from my doctor to tell me they were putting me on a new medication because my hemoglobin was low, meaning I was anemic. Then another call from another one of my army of Dr.’s to tell me I needed more blood thinner, so they upped that dose too.  Now it makes since as to my I have only been able to sit and crochet because all I could think was, “man, cooking dinner sounds like climbing Mt. Everest, and screw that Christmas party – I can’t imagine how bad my legs will hurt if I try and pull that off.”  I am feeling 100% better now, which is great because I have to go to work in an hour.

More things I have been making:

Love this deerbit with the crazy huge antlers. My sewing machine keeps gumming up the thread, but this project went somewhat smoothly – right up until the end when I had a few choice words for the hunk of plastic.  I am in the middle of making a bird. Hopefully I can bore you with pictures of it later.

I have been feeling very nesty, so I have been crafting a lot. I made Will these little Elves.

Full body:

Her arm is wonky as she is the first one I made. Just don’t look.

Santa will be sending magic dust in the next few days and a letter as to how to make them wake up in the night.  I think the story goes something like this: the elves wake up at night and get into mischief but they are always watching and reporting back to Santa if you are naughty or nice. It should be interesting.  I got the idea here, but I thought the elves looked lame so I made my own and painted the faces on. The boy looks a bit grim, but we will just say he’s mysterious.

We got a tree this past weekend though it has only lights on it so far. Maybe it will get ornaments this afternoon. Almost all the Christmas shopping is done and hidden or in the mail on its way. I would show more craft stuff, but a lot of it is going as gifts so secrets must be kept.  Oh, I do have a birthday gift I made that was delivered last week.  A crown for the birthday girl (a girl in Will’s class and whose mom is a friend):

I have attempted making bread in the past – and failed about as miserably as one could possibly fail. This time I prevailed and made the most delicious bread that has ever existed: Brioche. It is more like cake than bread, but it has yeast so bread it is.

I made Monte Cristo sandwiches out of it, and then Marla (the devil dog) stole one of my sandwiches. And now we don’t speak so much (Marla and I).

On to my weekly (or perhaps biweekly) edition of “The Humphries Save the Planet”. This week we have canceled our trash pick-up service. You heard me right. We recycle and compost so much of our waste that we barely produce much trash nowadays. We have also started using cloth training pants for Will at night, so that cuts down even more. And I don’t feel like going straight to eco-hell for throwing superabsorbent polymers full of my son’s pee into the landfill (for it to sit and not rot until long after his grandchildren are in the ground, probably covered in superabsorbent polymers full of their grandfather’s pee…)

On personal hygiene: I am now willing to tell the internet I have not washed my hair with shampoo in over a month. Yes, you heard me right: NO SHAMPOO. In an effort to rid the house and myself of chemicals, I have switched to baking soda for almost all of my personal washing needs. And I have to say I really like it. I don’t smell, and my hair is not greasy or rank (or hippy dippy either). The switch to using it on my hair has taken a bit of trial and error as everyone’s hair is different, and mine is thick and long. So I use a bit more than some, and I leave it on for a full 2 minutes. Then I use a bit of apple cider vinegar as a conditioner (which really makes it soft), and I am done. Baking soda is by far the best deodorant I have ever used. Once I realized that I could mix it in some cocoa butter lotion, it is easy to apply (and I still don’t smell). I don’t mean, “hey, I don’t smell so bad!” No, I mean, “hey, I have been working in the yard all day in July in Georgia and sweating like I have been digging a ditch in the Sahara for five days, and I don’t smell!”

More info:
If you are interested in no ‘poo, go here.
How about home-made deodorant?

Here we go: another installment of “The Humphries Save The Planet.” I started composting, and it is not the first time. I tried this at our old house when I had the veggie garden in the backyard. I never got the swing of it though. I went the Martha way, which is to say I had a big wire bin next to the garden and put all of our food scraps in (instructions on that method).

As you could see from the picture in the link, manual labor is a key part. And time – lots and lots of time before you can use the compost in the garden. I had lusted over these nifty things, but as you can see from the price tag I was not about to do that (even if it did give you compost in six easy, non-manual-labor-filled weeks). So I had been thinking on what to do for a while and, feeling guilty every time I emptied the coffee filter or threw lemon rinds in the garbage pail, I knew I could do something easy and cheap. I finally came up with something on the drive to the lake last week. Upon our return, I decided to look online one last time to see if my plan would work. I ran across this great video (which is what my plan mainly consisted of – except I used a drill, and my hair looks way better than hers).

I purchased my trash can from Lowes for $13.00, and Will helped me drill the holes in a pretty pattern. Then we loaded it up with the brown and green matter that we had saved over the last two days, wet it, and gave it a spin. Soon I will show you my black gold!

Here is a list of things you can compost:

• Animal manure
• Cardboard rolls
• Clean paper
• Coffee grounds and filters
• Cotton rags
• Dryer and vacuum cleaner lint
• Eggshells
• Fireplace ashes
• Fruits and vegetables
• Grass clippings
• Hair and fur
• Hay and straw
• Houseplants
• Leaves
• Nut shells
• Sawdust
• Shredded newspaper
• Tea bags
• Wood chips
• Wool rags
• Yard trimmings

One last note: I am truly amazed at how much smaller our weekly trash that goes to the street is because of recycling and composting. It has gone down by at least two-thirds and is the most obvious change we have made during this process. This week it is my goal to put up recycling bins for the bathrooms – an easily overlooked place that is full of paper products just being thrown in the trash.

A few years ago, Josh and I decided we would change a habit or a product here and there in our daily lives – in an attempt to become more conscious of our affect on the planet and to just be more conscious as humans in general. One of the first things we did was to replace most of the bulbs in the house with compact fluorescent bulbs. Now you may say, “Most? Why not all?” The simple fact is that we wanted to make these changes without compromising too much (mainly due to the fact that very small bulbs and bulbs attached to dimmer switches don’t agree to well with CFL). We are Americans after all, and if we do it this way then we can convince others to follow along. Because if it is not easy and cheap then it is not sustainable for the laziest among us.

Along the way, we have also taken this idea to the food we eat, and we have slowly been changing into more conscious eaters. This means more vegetables, more fruit, no junk food in the house, no soda in the house, eating at home as much as possible, and, finally, cutting out a whole lot of processed food. We still eat out and drink like fish (Josh makes beer after all) – we even drink soda and go to fast food joints, but only once in a while. Even then, we try our best to keep it somewhat healthy. This was probably the hardest for me as Will loves Chik-Fil-A and – I mean – who doesn’t? He still begs, but I resist.

Ok, back on topic! So this year we decided to step it up a little more: first we started recycling, and then I decided to get rid of all the harsh chemicals to clean the house. NO, I did not stop cleaning! I traded them for more earth-friendly ideas. Now I know I could have gone out and bought green-wise stuff, but I really felt that was just not being very conscious. I decided Bleach, Baking soda, and Vinegar are all I need, and I must say it has been a smashing success. I have a spray bottle with water and a few drops of bleach (chlorine free) for cleaning the counters and hard floors. Important note about bleach: you only need a few drops. You don’t even need to be able to smell it for it to disinfect your counters and what not. Baking soda is a miracle powder: it has gotten the toughest dirt out of the bottom of my shower, cleaned the grout in my bathroom, and whitened my laundry. The best part of all: it is way cheap! More info here on the wonderment of the BS. Vinegar: in a word – URINE. If you have a dog or a child then you know what I am talking about. Vinegar breaks down the enzymes in urine instantly, and dogs will not mark again if they can smell it. We could talk about all its other great features, but read this article instead. Oh, and the smell is gone once it dries.

Ok, the point of this post! I have decided to start posting about my newest experiments into going green. I am always trying something new to see if it will fit into my life and save me money (lest I remind you about gas prices). Not everything I do will sound sane or even doable by all, but maybe it will give some of you the info you need to try something new.

Next week: composting on the cheap!